Giving of my time to others started at a young age for me. There were the little moments when I was young when I use to stop and talk to strangers (yeah, my Mom wasn’t crazy about that), taking extra time to just sit and pet cats that generally did not want anyone to touch them or visiting the local senior living home while out roaming the neighborhoods (back then you could just wander in by yourself). When I turned 12 I joined an international organization that promoted service in the community. To be honest I just liked that we got to wear fancy dresses but the fact we did service in the community turned out to be an unexpected perk. The decision to join turned out to be a nine year journey with an organization full of wonderful memories. I received many tools that I believe led to my success in the life and in the workplace. Not to mention I had the benefit of giving hundreds of hours of my time to service.
As we know life happens, you grow up, some go off to college, you get a job, you get married, have kids, you live. The time you have to give to service gets smaller. Your life gets busier. Our focus gets pulled away from who we are to who we feel we need to be. For a long time I was so focused on my career that I forgot what it was to be in service to others. Even within my job where I managed others I was so busy managing clients that I didn’t have enough time to be of service to those around me. I failed to realize that something was lacking in my life. It took me a long time and a lot of reflection to realize what I was missing. Truly giving of my time, making a difference and being in service to others. What an odd revelation. I had clients that I charged 1600+ hours of work to a year, delivered work to on a daily basis, answered emails and took phone calls and, yet, I didn’t feel as though I was being of service. Not in the way that made me feel complete.
Upon this revelation it became clear to me that the part of my job I loved the most and kept me with a firm wasn’t the client, it wasn’t the work I was doing but the people I worked with. The people I was charged with managing, leading and helping to grow. Sadly looking back over the years and realizing how buried I was under client work I wonder just how good or bad of a job I was doing. Slowly my focus has changed. It has gone from being solely client service focused with a touch of managing my staff to being present for those around me and to whom I can have the most impact on. My goal is to make my hours count. This isn’t to say that when I work on client work I am not giving them a great product, delivering what they are paying for and being responsive to their needs. But, I have stopped being such and ostrich with my head in the sand and started looking around to see where I can be of help. Because for me, personally, that is where my soul gets its nourishment each day.
While mentoring those I manage is an easy place to make a difference I don’t stop there. It could be a co-worker with personal problems, lending a hand to a friend on a special project, giving of time to brain-storm on a business ventures or speak to a group of students. The first key to helping is others is you have to make yourself available to them. This means I had to slow down and cut back on the crazy 2,600+ hours / year I was working in the office. I had to be more present in my life. It also meant I had to be more vulnerable. Second, I had to stop thinking of myself as only being capable of doing my day job. If I thought about it I had done a hundreds of service hours in my lifetime with just as much public speaking. Talking and helping is right up my alley. Finally, I had to realize not everyone is open to help and you give it to those who want it, when they are ready, and you can’t take it personally if they are not. I got really good at feeling people out quickly and I respect where they are in their process.
I have made this change in my life because I felt an emptiness in what I was doing. I do it because I enjoy helping others not because I expect anything in return. One day would I love to turn my passion for helping others into a business? Sure. But, it still wouldn’t stop me from helping a friend that called, advising a co-worker or giving of my time. I am excited at the thought of helping some through the shadows of doubt that I myself have walked through, realize fears are like scary movies and only made up in our minds or help shed old habits we have spent a life building. I come alive when I see the spark of empowerment come alive in someone’s eyes when they realize their own abilities.
There is no roadmap or limitation I put on myself when it comes to helping others but there will always be that part of me from long ago that talks to strangers, takes time to soothe a scared cat or talk to an elderly person. You never know who that stranger may be, whose pet may be lost or whose relative you could befriend.